This is my own story of life with advanced ovarian cancer. I do not offer medical advice, and my treatment decisions are my own. Please talk to your physician or healer and gain as much information as you can about this dreadful disease called cancer. Remember, knowledge is Power!

Thursday, October 14

The Power Of Three

*Three is a mystical number that shows up repeatedly in mythology: three fates, three muses, three graces. Three is a prime component of fairy tales: three wishes, three little pigs, three bears.

Three creates a series, a pattern of cause and effect.

There are three stages of truth: first a concept is rejected, second it is violently opposed, third it is accepted as self-evident.

Three is a basic structure of life: carbohydrates, protein, fat; electron, proton, neutron; past, present, future.

Three is a basic structure of stories: beginning, middle, end.  *from squidoo

Three is the number of times I've had to face cancer and make life-altering decisions about treatment. Apparently, there are only three treatment options available in conventional Western medicine: surgery, chemo, radiation. I've now been offered these choices for a third time. 

Let's review:
I got cancer
I had surgery
I had chemo
I had heart attack
I had more chemo
I had a recurrence
I had more chemo
I had a pulmonary embolism
I had more chemo
I have a new recurrence-
Third time the charm?
Or three strikes and I'm out?

I have three words for you: NO MORE CHEMO. 
Here's three more: NO FUCKING WAY.
And three more: I AM DONE.

Chemotherapy has almost killed me twice. It has caused me more health problems and long term side effects than the cancer itself. My cancer is persistent and progressive. Chemo may damp it down a bit, but it will not cure me. It will only cause more damage- OF THIS I AM SURE. I still have a kid at home, and I need to be fully HERE for him while I'm still here.

So, what now? you ask. 

After much research, soul searching, and a kick in the pants by some of the best alternative, naturopathic, holistic friends and healers alive I've decided to surrender to Mother Nature and God and go the natural route to detox, cleansing, and immune boosting, as well as fully embracing the mind/body connection towards healing. After explaining it to my family, I'm getting full support from them but so far, I've heard: "You're crazy!", and "What the fuck?", and "You're giving up???" But more and more, I'm getting: "It's about time!", and "I'm in!", and "I can hook you up with so and so . . . ".  

This will be a big transformation for me, and there is a lot involved. I've been a meat-and-potatoes girl all my life; raised on cows milk, processed foods,  and preservatives. I've pumped more chemicals and pollutants into my body than should be allowed. I lived in highly industrialized places. I smoked. I drank. I love fat and gravy. And sugar. And those are all just PHYSICAL THINGS that do so much to fuck up our immune systems so badly to invite horrible diseases like diabetes, heart problems and cancer. I haven't even begun to crack the emotional aspects or the spiritual deficits in my life.

I think I shocked my support group at The Wellness Community with that one last night, but they rallied around like they always do, no matter what.The people in my group are in all stages of the cancer journey; some newly diagnosed, some currently in treatment, and some in remission. They seem to be of the same mind that there has GOT to be other ways to treat cancer besides surgery, chemo and radiation, and are interested in helping me find it.

I'm going to be a busy girl. I have a lot to learn, and I WELCOME your thoughts, ideas, connections and experiences in alternative, natural and holistic healing because for me, THIS way is now the ONLY way.

Remember: It's not nice to fool Mother Nature.


  1. You KNOW what you have to do. You have to follow your heart and mind.

    Good luck. I'm sure the transition will be tough, but you can do it.


  2. It's gotta be easier than chemo. Thanks, T.

  3. I am holding your hand as you begin this new venture...You inspire me to be a better person...I love you so much...

  4. WHAT THE FUCK??? How could you do this to ME??? Oh...wait...heHEEEEEEE LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVEEEEEEE! You SO fucking rock, you stick with it, and know it takes a long ass time but we got nuttin' BUT time! You'll feel better soon and things will GET better too! I heart you BIG TIME!

    p.s. I can show you how to make some rawkin gravy, my love!

  5. I started reading from the top down so I'm getting the decision after I got info about your changed eating. At some point, chemo only makes things worse. My husband died in 2001 of colon cancer those the reason he died was the chemo killed him essentially. After I watched him suffer I thought I'd never do chemo but when my dx came along, I thought..what the hell, I'm doing chemo and I'd do it again too. Though I'm not sure I'd do it again AND again.
    The Wellness community sounds pretty cool. It's going to be interesting watching your progress/success.


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