This is my own story of life with advanced ovarian cancer. I do not offer medical advice, and my treatment decisions are my own. Please talk to your physician or healer and gain as much information as you can about this dreadful disease called cancer. Remember, knowledge is Power!

Friday, September 17

Ditched On The Dance Floor

Yep. That NED, the fickle bastard, has dumped me AGAIN!! Without so much as a goodbye, au revoir, or a kiss my ass. I mean, sure. I like to dance by myself, but COME ON, NED! I was just getting my rhythm back! Shit.

New onc is booking me for a PET scan asap. He said I may be a candidate for surgery if everything is in one piece, but if it's all scattered around then I'm looking at more chemo. Huh. We'll see about that. He said the words "sigmoid" and "colon" a lot. Shit, and double shit.

Goodbye NED.


*NED= No Evidence of Disease

Wednesday, September 15

CT Results

"Oh! Don't forget to take this to the oncologist on Thursday" the nurse said, handing my my CT results as I was walking out the door of my pcp office. (he is out of town so couldn't give me a rundown on the results).

Lungs: irregular increased opacity in the paramedian right middle lobe and lingula which are indeterminate (of course). Ovoid noncalcified nodule left lower lobe, measuring 8 mm in size and indeterminate (of course).

Liver: demonstrates inhomogeneous density. Regions of geographic increased density in the subcapsular portions of the right lobe near the dome measuring 6.3 and 4.5 cm in size. Band of increased density right caudal hepatic lobe measuring 3.4 cm.

There is diastasis of the rectus abdominus muscle by about 5 cm in the periumbilic region with possible small fat-containing periumbilical hernia.

Pelvic views: Abnormal increased density in the area of the lower left colon and in the area of the sigmoid colon.

1. Inhomogeneous enhancement of the liver. Metastatic deposits cannot be excluded in the proper clinical setting and direct comparison to any prior CTs could be helpful to see if this is an old or new finding. (ya think?)

2. post-surgical change in the periumbilical area with possible fat-containing periumbilical hernia.

3. Atherosclerotic plaque in the aortic wall without aneurysm (well hooray for that).

4. Abnormal increased density surrounding the lower left colon and sigmoid region. This may be from recent surgical intervention although fatty infiltration due to local spread of metastatic disease is not excluded in the given clinical setting.
Tomorrow I'll find out what all this means. Hold my hand, will ya? Thanks.

Saturday, September 11

What's in a number?

Hmmm, where did we leave off? Oh yeah, the moving, the breakup, and the yada yada yada. I finally got the moving done. Well, let's just say all my crap is outa the apartment and partially in storage and partially here at my mom's house. My mom is having the floors redone so I'm not going to move my big stuff in here until the new carpet is in. That stuff is heavy, and I'm only moving it once (more).

The breakup is done. I swear, that was the longest breakup I've ever had, with all the moving and whatnot. We've kept it civil, we're amicable, and we'll try to stay friends. Maybe I'll get over my resentment now that I'm not depending on him for anything.

On to the yada yada yada. Yeah. I really don't want to go there, but I must. I saw my PCP last week to talk about weaning off some of my meds and to check out some pain I've been having- not just the upper abdominal thing that I think is nerve damage/scar tissue, but a new, lower, pelvic pain. I was trying to think what I had left in there that would hurt so much; my bladder? my colon? This pain has gotten progressively worse over the last month, and I'm sure moving boxes and furniture hasn't helped it much. But this pain is beyond strained muscles. And I'm actually FEELING lumpy-type things down there. My PCP said it "may" be a hernia that developed after my surgery last year. But he doesn't think so.

He's ordering a new pelvic/abdominal CT scan for me- I'll get that next week. He wrote up a referral to the new oncologist I need to see, since I have no insurance now and have to change docs. I'll see him on Thursday. He did some labwork.

My CA-125, which has been very low for a year, is now at 205. Are you ready for Round 3? Plan D? FUCK. ME.