Suck it up, Buttercup

Okay, so I guess I'm not dying right away. Good thing, cuz I'm not ready yet. Pity party over.

CT results are "looking good" mid-chemo, meaning that no new stuff is showing up, and some old stuff isn't there any more. SAA-WEEET!!! Got started back up with chemo today (Topotecan and Avastin). I'll do another 3 months with that, but I gotta admit it was really nice being off for these past few weeks. I was almost back to humanoid.

As soon as the chemo kicks in I'll be back in the bubble, (not the same as chemo-brain) but that's okay- I know that place, and it only lasts a few days at a time. It's the rabbit hole I'm afraid of. My oncologist tells me that there are a lot of good things happening with Avastin. I hope so.

Thanks to my peeps for keeping me going. You know who you are.
Big love,

Back in the Bubble

The Bubble is where I live after chemo. It's all in my head; the dizziness, the nausea, the feeling of being pumped too full of liquid, or like an overfilled helium balloon with the top of my head trying to float off. It's like riding the merry-go-round for too long. I need to remember to tie my head down.

Tomorrow will be infusion 3C at Club Chemo and I will be halfway done with treatment (again). I saw my PCP last week about the ringing in my ears, nosebleeds, insomnia, and the fact that I'm losing my mind. He told me I'm pretty much SOL about the tinnitus (ringing), there isn't really anything that can be done. I figured they could just bong me with a tuning fork and re-set something. Guess not. (I'm sure a bong wouldn't hurt, though)

The nosebleeds could be from the dry air, or maybe because my nose constantly runs while I'm on chemo and I've just worn a hole in my septum with all the wiping and blowing. Either way, it hurts like hell and will bleed at the most random times; at the grocery store, while driving, or walking the dog. Hopefully, it won't get any worse or we'll be talking about cautery. Inside my sinuses.. Lord help me.

As far as insomnia and extreme anxiety go, I'm trying out some new meds. We'll see how that goes.