This is my own story of life with advanced ovarian cancer. I do not offer medical advice, and my treatment decisions are my own. Please talk to your physician or healer and gain as much information as you can about this dreadful disease called cancer. Remember, knowledge is Power!

Tuesday, October 19


In the 18 months since I was diagnosed and had to deal with this hideous thing called cancer, I have not had one moment's peace- until now.  Always worrying about tumor growth, agonizing over treatments, dealing with horrible side effects, trying to take care of everyone else in their denial and worry, trying to jump off the Cancer Train only to be thrown back on again and again- it was too much. It knocked me right on my ass, and it was difficult to pull myself back up. I could feel myself slipping away.

Since I made the decision last week to discontinue any more chemo treatments and turn to alternative, naturopathic and holistic healing approaches, I feel Zen-like. Calm. Comforted. Blessed. Peaceful. It's an amazing transformation. I've had a lot of these transformations lately; from engaged to single, from independent to living with my mom again, from chemo girl to granola girl, etc. It's all been amazing! 

I am learning so much about myself; socially, physically, biologically, psychologically, and spiritually. I had to learn to let go, to surrender, to forgive, and to change to be able to heal. I'm on my way, and I can feel it. No matter what happens now, I'm ready for it. I finally get it. 



  1. About the only thing I know for sure about cancer, and especially Ovarian that it's different for everyone. I often wonder how in the world some people respond to treatments and seem to go on with their lives, while the rest of us go from relapse to relapse. I agree with you, that at some point we have to decide for ourselves how to deal with it and how much more we can handle. I'm hoping that the stem cell transplant is going to work for me and give me a longer remission this time.....we shall see. No matter what course of action you take, I want you to know that I am on your side and will be over here saying prayers that you will find a way to beat this thing*! (((HUGS)))) -Ashley

  2. Thank you, Ashley. I hope your treatments work for you, too, and you never have to make those decisions ever again!

  3. Today is my new anniversary date for transformation! My youngest turns 18(done with the raisin'-now just raisin' my dreamin'), going back to school after 30 years(after a 500 word essay and 18K), creating wealth for all the ones I love and care about(as soon as they ALL see what I am talkin' bout and sign over some services-you were one of the first~xox~).

    God meant us to be natural, we have the power to heal ourselves as the miracle of life is amazing and so strong if we use the fuel that God gave us...physically, psychologically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. The soul is waiting for the evolution, ahhhh...PEACE!

    You are truly Godsent, my sweet Patato...xox

  4. It's nice to feel peace about this stuff. I'm sure. When I am frantic and swirling around cancer, I'm a nutball. When I see that someday I'll die from something, I'm like "join the club." Meh.

    I started learning more about Buddhist philosophy and it helped immensely. Regardless, we all die and none of us has any idea what happens afterward, really, though some people think they know. I find comfort in knowing I had no idea where I was before this lifetime either.

    Peace, no matter what, is a great thing. And definitely more healing.


  5. My heart is at peace with yours...I KNOW this is right for you...I love you...


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