I signed all the consent forms to begin XL 184. Now I'm just waiting for coordination between all my "ologists" to get things going. My blood thinning drug still has to be decided upon- it will be an injectable. I'm not happy about that, but will suck it up for awhile so I can do the clinical trial. If everything goes well, then I'm looking at the first week of January to get started.
I think I'm getting a handle on my meds. I've adjusted to my round the clock narcotics in that I can function on them. I still have break thru pain but handle that with Dilaudid. My bladder problems are getting better it seems- I'm not getting up 3 or 4 times a night to pee. But that could also be attributed to the sleeping pill (Ambien) and the addition of Elavil to make it last longer. I'm actually sleeping a bit now. My bowel problems are still there. I'm waiting to get hooked up with a GI doc for a colonoscopy to see how far up the blockage is.
I know I've had a lot of negative posts and thoughts lately. I'm sorry. My whole life isn't one big stormy cloud- I do actually experience great moments of joy. I got to keep my grandbaby for a few days last week. We had a Disney Princess movie marathon (my mom has ALL of them), with some Alvin and the Chick-mumps (Emmy's word) thrown in. We had a wonderful time together and luckily, I didn't have to go to the hospital for anything. Thank God for small favors.
The holidays used to make me so sad! When I lived in Chicago, I'd get all weepy around Christmas because I couldn't be with my family in Arizona. Now I'm back in Arizona and actually LIVE with my family, but now my kids aren't here for Christmas. My Boyo just flew out to Chicago to see daddy dearest, and my girl plans on staying home in Flagstaff to try to establish her own Christmas traditions with Em. I could go up there, but I can't leave my mom home alone at Christmas, and she doesn't want to go. This will be my first Christmas back at home with my mom, so I want to make that special for her. I'll figure it out. I want to take a trip to California for New Year's and spend some time with my Other Brother. I haven't seen him in a few years. If I can swing it, I'm going.
I hope I start getting phone calls from all my docs soon. I want to get this show on the road.Peace.