This is my own story of life with advanced ovarian cancer. I do not offer medical advice, and my treatment decisions are my own. Please talk to your physician or healer and gain as much information as you can about this dreadful disease called cancer. Remember, knowledge is Power!

Wednesday, May 19

A Product Endorsement By Pateeta

Are you tired of trying to vomit into those flimsy plastic emesis basins? Or how about those airline barf bags? Even worse, horking out your car window while driving? Believe me, I can drive and hork simultaneously with the best of them, but I'm here today to introduce you to the latest in Barf Bag technology! Say goodbye to the traditional barf basin/bucket/bag and get your face into one of these!

My local hospital carries these Eme-Bags; they hang on the walls in a canister like a Dixie cup dispenser and you just grasp and pull and voila! You have what looks like a giant blue female condom! But I must say, I was sold on it after only one use! (the barf bag, not the condom).

You will not believe how versatile and convenient these babies are. They come in a fun color, are light, disposable, collapsible and totally portable. No more blowing chunks on your friend's leg or into the closest garbage can at the bike rally when you have one of these on hand. Small enough to fit in your purse or pocket. Keep one on your nightstand and you don't even have to get out of bed for those midnight puke sessions! And Boy Howdy, they sure can hold a lot. At least 40 oz! I believe it could even hold a lung if you happened to hork one up. Just look at the design and craftsmanship that went into these bad boys! Check out the handy measurements marked out for you. You'll never have to wonder again just how much your stomach holds. And hey, you can always use it for measuring when your kid breaks your favorite Pyrex measuring cup. I'm sure you can find DOZENS of fabulous uses for it!

So at your next chemo appointment or ER visit, be sure to ask for.... no, DEMAND the Eme-Bag! You'll be so glad you did. And get some spares.

Maybe later I'll tell you how I used it in my car this week. While driving with the top down during rush hour traffic. Maybe not.

1 comment:

  1. Man, first the mouthwash, now the puker bags??? Where were all these lovely trinkets 9 yrs ago??? LUCKY! ;p
    i love you.


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