Another Graduation

You'd think I would've been ready this morning, having been up since 3am all jacked up on steroids, hot flashing and having a major anxiety attack. I had to go outside and sit on my patio for awhile to cool off and try to get my Zen on with some Xanax and herbal remedies. I had to take another batch of steroids at 6am in prep for chemo today. MY LAST CHEMO. FOREVER, DAMN IT!

So we took dog out (Rico did), got the kid up and to school (Rico did) while I dawdled in the shower, lollygagged getting dressed, and generally stalled for as long as I could before getting out the door for the 25 mile drive. Wait! I need to draw my eyebrows in! I need to use the bathroom! Where are my lucky blue Chucks?? Is my iTouch charged up? Wait! I gotta put Lidocaine on my port! Is it time for another Xanax yet? Check the A/C. Make sure the windows are closed. Fill the dog bowls. Switch the laundry to the dryer and start another load.

We finally hit the road (when he gently dragged me out the door) and here I am at Club Chemo with 9 other women today, all of us at various stages in our treatment. Today, being my last treatment (the 2nd time around) I've got the Graduation Ribbon on my IV pole. Here, patients sign the ribbon after the last chemo. There are 3 ribbons that hang on the wall, all filled with prayers, jokes, signatures and love notes to the Oncology Team. Every part of every ribbon is signed, all the way down each of the 12 strands of 4 foot tail. This one is a brand new ribbon and I'm the first to sign it. I think I've just earned a B.S. Degree in Chemotherapy.
Another oncology office has them ring The Bell, and another place plops a tiara on your head, wraps a feather boa around your neck, presents you with a dried giant fake bouquet and tells you "Now, take your Walk!", like you're Miss America or something. I like that. Finishing chemo is a big deal.

I'm so glad this is almost over. I need a break from chemo in the worst way. In 4 weeks I can have he PET scan. Now, it's just a waiting game again. Limbo Land. I'm gonna just spend the next month eliminating this toxic shit from my body, then hopefully all those dreadful side effect will abandon ship. I can't wait to get off all these meds. Will it even be possible?

What will the PET scan show? Will my labs be good? Will he have to go in and look around again? Will I be able to go back to work? What if....? These questions, and more will be answered next month, and I AIN'T GOING THERE TIL I GET THERE.

For my graduation speech I'd like to say:
It's been a long, strange trip, Cancer.
I've worked very hard over the last year
to get the best of you.
So far, I've kicked your ass. TWICE, bitch!
You better stay down! I'm warning you!
FUCK YOU, RECURRENT METASTATIC SEROUS PAPILLARY
OVARIAN ADENOCARCINOMA.
I HATE YOU.
FUCK OFF AND DIE.