Not Much Time

Hi guys- got lots to say but not much time to say it all. I'm pretty heavily medicated so my lucid moments are becoming fewer and further between. I am on home hospice now but am posting from the hospital.

Anyway, lots of new stuff has happened. I finally got a total bowel obstruction and am the proud owner of a colostomy bag. My stoma is named Stella. I have a PEG tube that I was only using for my liquid methadone and dilaudid. I am now on oxygen, on 4 Litres. I have a big pump type thing that lives in my closet because it's noisy. It has a bubbler (for moisture) and there is always water in the line. I have a portable tank that's on the little trailer-pulley thing that just makes me want to go to the casino, ya know? There are always those little old ladies in there playing the slots, dragging their oxygen tubes and puffing on their cigarettes. gross!

What I'm working on now is fluid in my lungs. I came in to the hospital last week after hospice sent a home x-ray dude to the house because I was getting short of breath. The x-ray showed that I had 2 litres of fluid on my left lung. I went through a procedure where a chest tube was stabbed through my ribs and hooked up to a pump/ container thing to collect it. On Sunday, the drainage stopped so they took out the tube and sent me home. The x-ray dude came back on Tuesday and lo and behold, I had another 2 litres of fluid on the same lung. Back to the hospital for the same procedure- to drain the lung.

I've just spoken with the surgeon/pulmonologist/ hospice docs, and God's Army, and we've decided to do a procedure tomorrow called a Talc Pleuro-desis. You can look it up cuz I'm too exhausted to.

Things are getting close, my friends. I can feel it. I have signed a DNR (do not resuscitate) at my last hospital visit (with the bowel obstruction. I don't know a whole lot right now, except things are escalating- my body giving out, a lot of things. It's a weird feeling. I know this post is disjointed, rambling, whatever, but that's how i feel most of the time. My daughter will update for me when the time comes.

I just want to say to you all; I really love you. You've all helped me so much, in getting through my treatments, procedures, recoveries, etc.  I am so grateful to you. I do know that God can step in and change things at any time, but I'm also a realist. I'm not even gonna proofread this before I hit send cuz otherwise I'd be spending all day on it.

If you know me on Facebook, there's where you get the "morning update", meaning, if I say good morning- it means that I woke up.

I don't know where else to go with this, but here's the skinny. Say a prayer for my family, my children, my friends, and others who love me, will you? I think they need it more than I do.
I love you